No, these are not the words used by the poor Cowardly Lion, but rather a feeble attempt on my part to introduce the new Vassago Fisticuff.

This is an interesting bike, and cooler than cool too.

Although the basic soul of the bike is ‘cross inspired, you can build it several ways to Tuesday, geared, fixed, single, disc, canti… Versatility is the name of the game here. Pictured here is my new bike to be.

Yes, I know, another new bike. I was having a bit of a battle trying to decide how I wanted to build it. I decided that this bike was going to be a landing platform for all my randon drop bar bits and pieces I’ve managed to collect over the years. After my last screaming descent down Loomis Hill on my Van Dessel, I decided that disc brakes were going to be taking care of the stopping. 50 mph and canti brakes? yeah, woefully inadequate… Why discs aren’t standard ‘cross equipment, I have no idea.

I can’t believe that we actually used to ride these brakes on mountain bikes back in the day.

I also decided I like gears too, which is convenient as I have a first generation Rival group that will get to see use again. I also have a mango flavored Royale wheelset that is collecting dust, and a pile of other stuff too rad to be sitting in one of my boxes of random parts.

I already have one of these bad boys out the door, pictured below with gold bits, tubeless Royales and a SRAM Rival group. I havent gotten a ride report back yet, but the customer was pretty stoked. I should have mine finished by weeks end.

This beast will be the perfect Gravel Grinder weapon.

‘Tis too early for this, I just know it. Maybe Mother Nature is lulling us into some sort of false sense of security by giving us several beautiful days in a row, only to yoink it all away with a mid April 4 footer. Maybe I’m jaded. Maybe I just want to ride my bike so bad that I can’t stand it.

I think this winter has been difficult for a lot of people. Crummy economy, bitter cold, lay offs, the news hasn’t been good for a while. I have in fact stopped watching any “news media” of any kind, because there is simply nothing good to hear. Now it seems the sun is coming out, it’s warm, and attitudes are changing, spring is springing. I’ve even noticed the first little green shoots poking out of the ground where there isn’t any snow.

The shop has been outrageously busy as of late, which is a great problem to have. I have not been able to take advantage of the great weather until today. 

The cool thing about bikes, is that once you own them, they cost very little to keep running. Basic maintenance is all that is required in most cases. Take poor Kermit for example. The last time I rode Kermit, he was so covered in mud, that I opted to leave him that way. Too dirty to clean. I know, I know, shame on me….

Well, today I woke Kermit from his cryogenic state of filth and we went for a ride. I cleaned him up. lubed the chain, adjusted the gears…. ha ha… that’s right, Kermit doesn’t have any gears! I love this bike. 5 minutes was all it took to be ride ready. Fellow SSWC09 attendee Mike Maggs and his girlfriend and I rode a loop that partially follows the Gravel Grinder Bonus Loop. I really like this ride, especially on a single speed because it’s flat. You can’t go that fast, and it’s right next to some form of running water for most of the ride. If there is one thing I love, it’s to ride bikes next to running water. This ride takes a little while longer, and it forces you to enjoy the act of riding and realizing your place in your surroundings.

We saw lots of seriously thick and girthy mud, some dudes out surfing the waves on the Mad River, and lots of other people on bikes enjoying the fantastic weather.

We had a great ride, and it’s nice to know that we’ll have more of these to look forward to.

No one.

The correct answer is:

Some of you were close, but sadly no cigars for anyone! mwer-mwerrrrr…

I was completely surprised myself at the weight. I was expecting something closer to 19. I posted this on MTBR, and there were a lot of comments and opinions put forth, most notably on the fork. Lots of people are afraid of such a device. Having ridden it, I am one of the lucky few who do not fear it, which is why it qualifies as Ridiculite, not only in the durability factor, but because it is both ridiculous, and light!

So I still have to finish dialing it in, but I hope to have a real ride on it pretty soon. Obviously, the report will be forthcoming.

Up next….

Picking a fight.

….and I’m spent…

This Ridiculite build has been quite a process. I hatched this notion in the dead of winter, when it was -30°, dark, howling winds, and I was daydreaming about my next bike. It was during this time that I used the wonder of the internets to find the tastiest ingredients to make my finest bike ever.

We start with a proven frame (with some extra blue sauce)

and begin installing some parts we know are the best.

The wheelset proved to be a bit of a process, but I am happy with the results. 90g is significant as far as this project is concerned. Once I adorned all the going and stopping bits, it was truly becoming what I had hoped. I just got a big shipment of Racing Ralphs in, and yes I weighed them all. I’m not going to tell you what my tires weigh, just rest assured that they are the lightest…

The cranks were furnished by some friends north of the border. The drive ring was supplied by a good friend south of the Mason Dixon line, but I’m not sure where those chainring bolts came from. All I know, is that they fit the mood, and I was in the moment.

I’m trying out the Formula Oro brakes this time. they seem to be pretty sweet, light etc, but I fear that the lever feel may not be up to my personal tastes. The brakes may change down the road, but I should at least try them out, who knows, I may even like them. Recently, I had to get the boy to eat asparagus, which was a feat in and of itself, but now he points to it at the grocery store and says “HEY! I LIKE THOSE! CAN WE GET THOSE?! PLEASE???”

heh heh heh… vegetables…

Maybe I will like the Formulas. They are light after all.

The Scrub rotors and Ti bolts are firmly in place.

I got my cockpit set. Uncut low rise Easton EC70 Monkey Lites, Ergon GX-1 grips and a EA90 road stem (for the upsidedown E) attached to my beloved proto niner carbon fork.

EC90 seatpost and my favorite, the WTB Devo saddle give me a nice place to sit when I should be crushing the field (not).

The business end is a titanium Boone 32-19 drivetrain, using a Whipperman chain. It’s lighter than a SRAM 890, by like 10g. Big whoop, right? But lighter, and dare I remind you that it’s rotational?

Hey, it’s about being Ridiculite.

So, just to reiterate, the goal of this build was to make a clyde friendly race bike. Meaning someone my size with no finesse what soever could ride this thing and not have it in the shop every other day. I’m going to ride the crap out of this bike as soon as the trails dry up.

Anyone care to guess what this guy weighs in at? You will win nothing if you get it right, but I may hook you up with something if you are close…

OK, it’s been a while I know. 

The pinky has slowly been returning to its normal size, and every day I get a little more mobility out of it, and it hurts a little less. Someone once said that pain is weakness leaving the body, well my left pinky must have been very weak indeed.

Sadly, I can’t get a good picture of it, because the bruising is spectacular, oh the black, the blue, the purple. I really wish I could convey the colors… or.. wait… maybe I can.

So I was a little miffed at the weight of my last experimental clyde friendly Ridiculite wheelset, coming in at 1880g for the set. Well, I went back to the Kings, and found that with the same spokes, nips and rims, I only lost 90g. Hub weight is not really that important, but what the hell, it’s 90 grams right, so it’s going to work. Turns out I should cut myself some slack right? I mean, if I weighed 180, I’d try the 355s, and I could loose another 100g out of the wheels. Oh well, the things I do for bike nerd-dom.

I will say that the one thing I leaned from this, is that bladed spokes are a huge RFPITA to work with. I think I might offer these spokes for lighter riders, but I’d have to charge a lot more because it takes me twice as long to get these suckers up to tension. I have about 5 hours into this set, but they are perfect. At least til I ride them…

So now I will have to say that some tantilizing bike porn is on the way, the build is on …

Like the village idiot I am, I managed to incapacitate myself for a day or two.

This picture was taken from the top of the quad at Stowe with my iPhone. Despite the crappy photo quality, it was beautiful sight to say the least, quite possibly, one of the best this winter has offered up. We might have shared this view with 13 other people before the clouds rolled up and hid the horizon again. 

Below the “deck” you couldn’t see anything. This meant (at least to us), play in the woods, more opportunity for contrast in your field of vision. You can at least see what you are up against, and plan accordingly.

Except for that one the death cookie that claimed my left pinkie

“It’s only a flesh wound!”

this will be part of the ride

maybe this will not be so wet, or maybe not...

a little taste of mud season.

Folks better start praying that the warm up continues – otherwise it’s going to be an interesting event. Gravel Grinder Spring Classic Dirt Road Ride – April 19, 2009.

Beware, they totally blow.

At least this first one did. 

So here I am on a Saturday afternoon, riding Kermit’s svelte steel loveliness, flying up the pavement of Barnes Hill like it was my bitch, only to be met with the gravel portion of my ride, which was very unpleasant to say the least. I had such aspirations of cranking out 16 miles in the warm 50° air, only to be crushed by the water bubbling through the road surface on anything less than asphalt. 

Mud season is here.

Oh it hurt.

My standard 8 mile “ride around the block” turned into an exercise in pain. I should have known. This loop, that used to take me an hour and fifteen when I first started hitting it, now takes me about 50 minutes. Except for today, which took me a little over 1.5 hours. 4 miles of this ride are pavement, and the dirt half was the worst suffering I’ve had on two wheels this year, and I include SSAZ09. You can’t stand for fear of spinning out, but you also can’t sit and churn. 

I will say that today was high torque day for the bike, but fortunately I was able to make a couple of conclusions about my project wheels. I could feel them talking to me through the potholes and mud trenches. The Aerolite spokes are pretty compliant, but not whippy. I felt the wheels give on the deepest potholes, but they were all there when I needed to stand on it. I still need a few more miles on them before I rate them clydeworthy, but so far, they are living up to my standards. It was a shitty ride, yet the wheels rose to the occasion and excelled.

Stiff, yet compliant…. hmmm……

Thankfully, I had to cut my ride short, so it could fit in the time alloted, and I was very happy about that. 

All I know, is that I’m definitely going to need new brake pads after today.

As I have previously stated, it’s game on again. Well, I guess it was never really game off, but needless to say, it will be an actual bike before too long. I just had a great phone conversation with a friend and fellow bike nerd, and he is helping me out with the last elusive bit that will truly set this build up in the ridiculous realm, while keeping thing light. I’m not going to say what it is, but I will post it when I get it.

In fact, On another phone call yesterday I found that I had secured the cranks for this project. I don’t know if they will qualify as light, but they most certainly are ridiculous.

The hubs arrived today, spokes will arrive on Monday. I’m going with Kings laced to Arches with the DT Aerolight spokes. I’m still very hesitant to go with 355s, even though this is a “race” bike. I may freak out and change my mind, but I want the wheels to be durable, which is the 3rd and final part of what makes something Ridiculite. I am a big kid, and I will ride the bike as hard as I can. I don’t want to be always truing my wheels. But on the other hand, maybe I should just suck it up and see if they would hold up….

Decisions decisions…

So it won’t be too much longer before this box of parts becomes something that is interesting to look at.

Stay tuned!

This has been a frustrating week, in regards to health and weather.

Mother Nature teases us with glorious sunny days in the mid 40s and then throws us back into the ice age with daytime highs of 15. Plus she keeps throwing us these annoying bonus snow storms whose only purpose seems to be to remind us all that winter will not go quietly. The worst part is the brilliant blue sky, which promises warmth, only to trick you with arctic air that freezes your face solid in seconds.

Then there is the horrible creeping crud that has just about leveled everyone I know. I got it last week and still feel the effects.

It isn’t all doom and gloom though. I’ve seen an uptick in interest of all things bicycle. I’ve had a couple of folks bring their steeds in for repair already, which is normally the precursor of things to come. All it takes is a couple of warm sunny days for the switch to happen. Before I know it, I’ll be up to my eyeballs in spring tunes.

The wheelhaus is rolling along nicely. I have wheels to build all week which is great. I just restocked on rims and spokes so we won’t get caught short again as we did last year. DT was out of 29er sized spokes which caused me to have to get creative on sourcing, and Stan’s was out of the very popular Arch rims.

Project Ridiculite is back on track, this time, the complete bike should be finished within the next 2 weeks. I went back to the drawing board on the wheels, or should I say, back to my roots. The King hubs are certainly lighter, but will require a little more attention to make sure they roll as quickly as the I9s. I had hoped to stuff some ceramic/hybrid bearings in there until I realized that Kings makes their bearings in house. Good thing I got that fancy hub tool! I’ll be posting about the bearing grease research I will be performing. Oh, cabin fever, I can’t believe its come to this!